Anywaaaaay, I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan a couple of years ago. I also did Beth Moore's study Daniel (which makes a convincing case that we're living in a modern day Babylon). All of this information was kind of blurring together in my head as I thought about excess.
A couple of things stick out in my head. I am rich. I don't consider myself rich. I don't 'feel' rich (which kind of makes me ill when I consider all my creature comforts compared to some). But there it is. If I really understand this it changes something in my brain and effects my choices. I'm still unpacking this. Have been for a couple of years. But, quite frankly, it's not going away.
Secondly, fasting has so many facets. Reasons for it (mourning, inquiry, repentance, preparation, crisis, worship). But, my favorite quote from the Intro week (or maybe it was the Food week) was this,
'It's interesting to watch God's movement after the famous fasts in Scripture; they positioned His people for a breakthrough so often. What wasn't possible, suddenly was. What wouldn't move, came unstuck. What hadn't worked, finally did. What was totally blurry, became crystal clear.'
A general consensus in Bible study has been this. We all want to make more space for Jesus. All of us feel too busy, too distracted. And I can say already that fasting from 'stuff' has already allowed for us to hear from Him. I will try to share what I've learned after each week. There's already so much. But, before I move on I'll share one other thing that is getting to me. As Jen points out, the Bible is very clear, wherever our treasures are, our hearts will be also.
As I continue to fast, as I consider to read scripture on how serious this is to God, how important this was to Jesus, I have to keep reevaluating my treasures. Babylon has crept in more than I knew. And it's sickening. It's potentially spiritually crippling. How have I been overlooking this? It's crazy to me, it reminds me of a book or a movie (that may or may not actually exist) where the main character suddenly becomes aware of their actual surroundings as opposed to what/where they had perceived themselves to be. As always, drawing near to God (the whole point of a fast) is always so humbling.
So, food week went...... well. Also, like the author, I discovered that I totally want what I want, when I want it. The end. My food choices have so much less to do with health and wellness and sustenance and all that. So, much more to do with 1. what sounds good and 2. what will make me look good. There it is.
But, I will share with you what I journaled at the end of the week.
The actual abstinence from other foods was fairly easy - I felt as though God was saying, 'See? My yoke is easy. Slow down. Enjoy Me, make space for me, and everything else will fall into place.'
At the same time, I was surprised by how much I'd been snacking and relying on food.
I don't want to lose the empty space - I was more patient, more focused, I don't want to go back!
I was disappointed that I didn't pray more - I still feel tongue-tied and I was hoping this would 'break the chains.' But, God showed me where the tongue-tied' is coming from and that there's work/healing to be done there...
I PRIDE myself on not doing a lot of shopping - clothes, shoes, etc. - non-grocery items. But instead I found a way to make grocery shopping much more complicated and shop-esque than it needed to be...complicated, extensive meals...
I have no idea if this makes sense to anyone but me. I was blown away by the response from God while fasting. I said earlier 'as best you can with words anyway'. Fasting, so far, has been incredibly rewarding. He has responded and it has felt much like it has something to do with moving away from the excess. The actual taking action of it.
Before this fast, God was focusing on grace. I have been 'striving' (Captivating by John and Stacy Eldredge), trying so hard to do so many things well (wife, mother, cook, etc...) And being who I perceived God wanted me to be was getting increasingly and increasingly difficult. Not to mention, there were plenty of casualties on a regular basis. Beth Moore's simulcast also fell under this category of living. Within day one of the food fast God made it not about the food. Love Him.
In an area that I have been seeking understanding and change God revealed something that needs healing. Through the fast I was better able to see choices I've been making to which I was completely oblivious. Health, finances, family - He answered so completely in week one. I am so thankful. He is so kind.
I feel as though by the end of this I will be undone completely.
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