Maryanna

I've decided since I've dropped the ball the last few months that I'm going to spend a blog a piece on each of the kids. Just to get caught up. Not at all b/c I absolutely adore talking about the individual idiosyncrasies of my kids. Okay, I do love it. But don't tell any other mom I'm sure they just wouldn't understand.

But, first, I need to tell you about my day yesterday. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to go through my entire day with you, but I need to tell you at least the start of it. It finally happened. I got in the car and left the house without my bra on. It was in my purse along with my shoes and socks in the passenger seat and my make up in the console. But the house was ready to show and Maryanna was going to make it to preschool just in time. I guess that's enough.

I think I'll stop there. The rest of my day was pretty typical. Always crazy, but typical. Maryanna had her fire station field trip and Powell and Lola and I went along. We actually didn't have a showing yesterday and that was a little bit of a relief. I finally got to stink up the house and bake my lasagna. I did get to read a little more of my high school friend's blog. She's so funny and random, maybe you should take a peek.

Okay, here it goes. Maryanna is so smart. And I don't just mean smart like she can learn, I mean she is quick. And she doesn't forget ANYTHING. She corrects me on a regular basis. And I don't mean in a snotty way, she just doesn't understand any inconsistencies to what she's learned. She writes her name as well as Powell and Lola's. She is passionate, a perfectionist, stubborn, funny, imaginative (you should here her play pretend - it usually involves made up songs and long-winded soliloquies, sometimes at the top of her voice) and serious.

I'm a control freak and have my perfectionist tendencies but Chris is the one with OCD (I mean that in a funny - undiagnosed way, of course). And our daughter, oh my goodness. Poor thing, she's such a funny mix of both of us. The girl lines up her stuffed animals for instructions. She has a hard time keeping up with that passionate temper when things aren't just right. I think I've said before, she has such a strong sense of right and wrong. That, of course, is translating into tattle-telling these days.

Sometimes, Maryanna and Powell play so well together and it's so much fun to watch. Sometimes they don't. But, when they do, there's a new trend. Yesterday I heard them conspiring to run away from Lola. It made me laugh, but it broke my heart too. They were playing in the bedroom at the play table and I heard them say, 'She's coming! Here she comes!' and a few seconds later they were running through the living room to get away from her. Now, I will admit that Lola is such a destroyer. Of all my kids she really is the most rough and tumble so far. So they had cause to run with whatever they were protecting. But, it reminds me of what's coming too. If I think it's tough to keep the peace now, I wonder what it's going to be like in just a few years! I hope sibling rivalry doesn't get too ugly at our house. I really want my kids to be close, close friends and enjoy each other's company. I suppose I should start praying for that now :-)

Anywho, back to Nana. She has a new friend at preschool. I say new because it's just been since she started school that she's known him (most of her friends are products of my friends, which means she's known them since birth). His name is Kamden. And Maryanna talks about Kam periodically all of the time. Her whole face lights up when she says she can't wait to see him at Sunday school (his family recently switched to our church). She tells us how fast he is and how high he can kick. They are really cute together, but it's such a bitter sweet thing. :-) His mom and I have really hit if off so they've gotten to see each other outside of school too. He is such a sweet little boy. Even our preschool teacher talks about having a crush on Kam.

What's funny is Chris. He's so sweet/cute. Even though Kam says he loves Maryanna (and vice versa) their just two 4 year olds who are about the same place developmentally and therefore get along. But it's so funny to watch Chris roll his eyes when Nana mentions Kam at the dinner table - again. He's not quite jealous - I don't think. I think it just pulls at that little heart string that suggests what will happen one day... And I think it's just a little hard to watch her face light up over a boy. Goodness knows I'm not ready for that.

Anyway, that's all the time I have for an update this morning. Lola's awake and the day is moving on whether I'm ready or not. Things to do. Many, many things to do...

I was THAT mom... on Easter morning!

I'm going to take the opportunity to write about Easter this morning, frankly b/c I have great pictures of my adorable kids to share :-)

I woke up on Easter morning, and still in my fog thought, 'I need to go have some quiet time before the day gets started - it is Easter after all.' And then I did the equivalent of sitting straight up in bed (in my head). No! I've gotta get up! I've gotta get the kids dressed! We have to get to church by 8:30! We've got to go find the hidden Easter eggs! Etc. etc. You can see where my priorities were? It is difficult to get to 8:30 service on a regular Sunday when I'm not determined that the kids will where coordinating perfect outfits with bows and belts to boot. Then you add the Easter baskets and the egg hunt and there is no time for anything else!

I should have listened to God's quiet voice. Hopefully I have learned my lesson. I totally wish I could go back and do Easter morning His way. By the time the hunt was over, the kids had eaten, the baskets were unleashed (all over the living room floor - did I mention we were also preparing the house to show for the day?) and it was my turn to get ready, I was grumpy and cranky with everyone, and I had, literally, 2 minutes to get ready and in the car. And I came very close to that exact time. But, by the time I got back into the living room Lola had found someone's jelly beans... and they were dribbling down the front of her Easter dress. I did it. I yelled.

And from the bedroom Chris said, 'Take a picture!' That helped. It reminded me of my mom's story about me biting the coffee table. She took a picture and then I got in trouble. Point being if I don't enjoy these moments with the kids I will spend all my time griping at them. So I took a picture. And I laughed. And I apologized to everyone... very humbling.

So here are the pictures of the kids that we always take before church. Because, I mean really, they are so not going to look the same by the end of church....

So much to say....

Okay! Well. Let me just start by saying, our house is on the market. Do you have any idea what it's like to keep a house virtually perfect with 3 children under 5? I keep thinking Powell's going to use the bathroom right before we leave and I'm not going to catch it. How embarrassing. He so doesn't always flush.

Anyway, so far it's gone fairly well. Although, we have had so many showings, I'm thinking, will someone just buy it already? Literally, one every day and two on Saturday. This makes me a very short-tempered mother. How do you spend time in your house with so many youngsters trying not to mess anything up? Anxiously. That's how. Every time they play with anything I'm looking at the clock trying to figure out if I'll have enough time to clean it up if we get a thirty minute notice. I will be really, really happy when we are no longer selling our house.

Speaking of, I have to tell you, this has been an interesting journey for Chris and I. We have been thinking about moving for a couple of years now. For many reasons. In that time we have prayed for God's will and purpose but it was in the last few weeks that we committed to each other to really make it a priority. Obviously, we felt led to put the house on the market. As we did, we began focusing on specific scriptures and praying for God's will with expectancy. We sought out our small group leaders and asked for their input and prayers. I believe, Wednesday we will ask the rest of our small group to pray. Of course, we asked our families to pray. With the number of lookers I tend to think that God's going to sell our house and I'm very excited (although I'm trying to wait till He does so to BELIEVE that we're moving).

Having said all of that, I still struggle with an age old fear of mine. I'm just now beginning to realize that it's the same one rearing it's ugly head. And here it is: I am terrified I'm going to irreversibly and irrevobably mess up my kids. I'm so afraid that whatever decisions I make that will affect my kids' lives (FOR-EV-VER!) will be the wrong ones!!! Is this the fear of every parent? Or is this just me and my irrational need to control? I have had thoughts that go along the lines of - what if Powell's future wife is here and I move him away from her? WHAT?! That is SO not the way God works! And I know it! So, why can't I seem to get rid of this fear for good? I have concquered it in other areas of my life, but here it is again in a new area. Will it ever go away? With practice and time (and, of course, my never ending pleas to God), will I become a confident parent?

And what about the effect my fear has on the kids? I am certain that there are consequences to living in fear. Not what I want. So, if you will, please pray for me in this area of my life as I continue to face it and to ask for advice from fellow moms and mentor moms.